In just a few days, I’ll be boarding a plane, Big Island-bound, to make a full circle of this last 10 months of pilgrimage. It is most fitting that I’m boarding that plane with my dear friend Bear, with whom I boarded my outbound plane to Honolulu back in January as we were both making our ways to Bangkok. We will travel back to Puna together, too, getting a ride ‘home’ with the same friend who brought us to the airport all those months ago. Indeed, there is something beautifully sweet about the circle being closed in this way.
We’re on Maui now, walking and lazing on the gloriously gorgeous beaches of this magical island, swimming in her soothing waters and not doing much else. And it is enough. More than enough. It’s the perfect, restful closing of this journey and I’m feeling, as I’ve felt so very often during these days and weeks and months — filled with gratitude.
You’ll remember that Maui was calling all those months ago, and I’ve since answered the call … and yet, my answer is not (as I imagined it could have been) a resounding “… ohgod yes, I’ve got to move here right away …” No, it is not that and it’s seems fitting and ‘right’ that this is so. Even though two of my closest Puna friends are one, already living here and the other, soon-to-be. Still, what I am aware of in this moment is that it’s time to go ‘home’ to Puna and see what the next steps will be.
I’ve spent some time in the last week brainstorming what the next months may look like, what I would like to accomplish and what projects I’d like to take on.
How do I want to spend my time?
What is most important?
What matters to me now?
How do I integrate all of what’s come through this journey?
What are the next steps in my evolution?
Given that I am truly free to move through the world however I may so choose, what is it that is my deepest truth?
What calls me?
Where is my passion and my aliveness?
What stretches and challenges me?
Where and how can I continue to learn and grow?
These are just a few of the questions that have been swirling around inside of me lately.
Some answers have arisen and some are yet to be birthed. Here’s some of what’s become clear to me:
- I want to write with a focus toward publication.
- It is so time for me to step into teaching and facilitating. I want to write the curriculum for workshops/retreats/trainings that I am interested in offering.
- I want to return to singing in a chorus again.
- I want to study solo performance, which means returning to the Bay Area next spring/summer for classes at the Marsh.
That pretty much covers it. That’s how I want to be spending my time. Along with reading poetry, and being in nature, hiking and swimming in the ocean and meditating. That’s it. That’s what I want right now. And it seems that my life in Puna can support this, at least that’s what it feels like at this moment. More shall be revealed and I’m eager for those revelations. Until then, I will bask in the glow of the magic that is Maui.
I look forward, finally, to returning to my Puna home – reminding my sweet Makana that her mother has not abandoned her, grieving the likely still-absence of my dear Pono, re-inhabiting and nesting in my sweet Kapoho cabin, and taking the next steps to continue to create the amazing life that I am so incredibly blessed to be living!
Aloha Big Island!